Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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