Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
