some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
