I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
