i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
