Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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