so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
