from now on my penis is your penis
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
