I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
