i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize