I wish I could punch you in the face.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
