I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
