I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
