I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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