Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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