I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
