STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
