O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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