No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
