Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Randomize