hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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