We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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