I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
wanna go halves on a baby?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
