im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize