So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
