So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
