the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
3 2 1 whiskey
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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