i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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