so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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