theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize