47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
