I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You need a sexual gate keeper
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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