He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
