and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
