Christians are straight up FREAKS
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
