forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
