I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
