is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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