No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
