We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
