I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
