What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
