he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When did angry sex become our thing?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
