knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
