Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
