dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize