When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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