Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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