Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My dick has a subreddit
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
