..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
her vagine was all disorganized.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
