I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
