I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
