I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
