we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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