I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
