; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm having to shit out rocks
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