Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i want to swaddle you in tequila
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
