is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
