It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
