I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
