I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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