i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
