chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
