It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
