May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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