Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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