I cockslap morals
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
